


It Takes a Woman to Make a Home

by TheBodyBioelectric



Category: Captain Marvel (Marvel Comics), Marvel 616, Spider-Woman (Comic), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, F/F, High School, Karaoke, gay nerds, nerds
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-01
Updated: 2016-04-29
Packaged: 2018-05-30 14:01:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,942
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6426706
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheBodyBioelectric/pseuds/TheBodyBioelectric
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Scholastically successful High School student and all around nerd Jessica Drew knows what she likes: her school work, her mom, and her writing. When Jess makes a tall, blonde addition to that list, she desperately attempts find balance in her desires. Whatever choices she makes, the only thing for sure is that her world will never be the same afterwards.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Fantasies of Love

Jessica Drew rushed in the door, slung her backpack to the floor, and flung off her shoes before she ran up the stairs. Her mom didn’t get home for another two hours, which she knew because Karen’s mom had dropped her off straight from Lerna High today, and she wanted to take advantage of being alone in the house for as long as possible. It wasn’t that Jessie didn’t love her mom to pieces. She just wanted some privacy to think.

So she flopped down on her bed and pictured the tall blonde in the combat jacket from English class.

Jess hadn’t gotten the nerve up to actually talk to her yet. She didn’t even know what she would say to her if she got the chance. She didn’t think her words would really matter anyway; Carol was way too cool for Jessica regardless. Carol wore aviators to class and sauntered to the back because she could. Jess was only in the back because she wanted to become one with the wall. Yes, Carol was much too cool for her. 

With a breathy sigh, Jess pulled out her diary. She had a stack of composition books in her closet with scribblings dating back to when she was six years old. Her mom had put the very first one in her tiny hand along with her purple pen when she was just six, which was exciting because it contrasted so sharply with her early memories of the gold and green of her bedroom and many of her toys. The journal was one of the best things that had ever happened to her.

She had written religiously after that for her entire life up until that point. She’d only missed writing daily in it three times, twice because Molly had invited her to sleepover, and only nerds wrote in journals, and once because Molly started a rumor that Jess had tried to kiss her, and Jess was too upset to write anything. Jess supposed it was for the best though. Molly smelled like ketchup half the time anyway.

But even stupid Molly couldn’t ruin this. Jess took out her purple pen, and let her mind slip into her fantasy fully as the words about Carol flowed out of her.

She scribbled furiously, not able to get the words out fast enough. Coming to the end of her entry, she shook her hand a little. She didn’t even know time it was. Glancing at the clock, she realized she only had twenty minutes before her mom got home. 

She wondered why she felt so weird thinking about Carol around her mom, but she pushed it off into the back of her mind. It was just because her Mom would think Carol was a bad influence, even though she had tennis shoes she had drawn on herself that looked good. Now that she thought of it that was probably why her mom would think she was a bad influence. 

She started to put her journal away in the closet, when she glanced down and casually read a sentence out of context. It was funny, without the sentence before it, it sounded like a love poem. 

Jessica frowned as she read the sentence before it, which also sounded like a love poem. She read it out loud. It no longer sounded like a love poem. It sounded like a cheesy love poem.

Jess groaned in frustration and snapped the journal closed as she melted into her bed face first. She couldn’t be in love with Carol. Carol was a girl and Jess was a girl. Carol probably had boys hanging off of her and didn’t need a stupid nerd like her. Carol didn’t need to settle for her and her weird thoughts. Carol was cool enough to be normal. 

But this was Jess’ room… the door was closed… and her mom wasn’t going to be home for fifteen minutes.

Maybe in real life Carol wouldn’t ever want to talk to Jess. 

But maybe it didn’t have to be real life for Jess to enjoy the thought of her. Of Carol taking an interest in her. Of Carol being close enough for Jess to touch… and to kiss. 

Jess slid off her green and yellow plaid school uniform skirt and traced a hand down her stomach. She pretended it was Carol’s fingers, touching Jess’s stomach and naval and sliding down to the tops of her thighs. She imagined Carol’s hands were desperately warm, although she wasn’t entirely sure why.

She grew excited at the thought of doing this while thinking of Carol. She had only done this a couple of dozen times before in her eighteen years of life, and only for special occasions. And Carol was very much a special occasion.

She imagined Carol’s bright blue eyes with a predatory gleam to them as she slipped her hand into her panties. But Carol didn’t just want to use her. Carol loved her, Carol wanted Jess because she loved her. 

Carol wasn’t a cruel predator. Carol just wanted to chase after Jess so that she could pin Jess down and have her close to her. And Jess wanted desperately to get caught by Carol. 

Jess threw her head back and was about to let out a moan as her fingertips slipped past the waist band of her underwear when the front door slammed shut. Jess sent her notebook flying as she started, before she madly scrambled to dress herself. She shoved the notebook under her mattress, hoping she could take out the dirty parts later before she added it back to her closet and before her mom noticed. 

Jess scrambled to the bathroom and slammed the door shut just as her mom came around the corner.

“Love you, too,” Miriam Drew called through the door.

“Sorry mom, I really have to go! But I love you too!” Jess shouted. She winced at her sad attempt to sound casual.

“Biology comes first, dear,” Miriam said in her practiced motherly tones. “I brought home those cookies you like though.”

“Thanks mom!” Jess said. “Can I pee now?”

“Of course dear,” Miriam said absentmindedly as she walked away. Jess let out a sigh of relief.

Several tense minutes of waiting long enough to seem plausible, Jess burst into the kitchen.

“Hey, mom,” Jess said, searching the kitchen for the cookies.

“You can have one before dinner,” Miriam said with a wry smile as she ruffled Jess’ hair. “They’re in the blue bag.”

“Thanks mom,” Jess said as she took a cookie from the box. She relished her heavenly bite of lemon frosting while still trying to pay attention to her mom.

“Jessie, there’s something that maybe we should talk about before we do our Friday dinner and movie,” Miriam said.

“Mom, you already gave me the talk,” Jess said. “I know where babies come from.”

“Jessie, this is serious,” Miriam said. 

“Sorry,” Jess said, feeling it slip out softly and shyly. 

“Oh Jess,” Miriam smiled at her. “I’m not mad at you honey, but someday you might tell a joke like that at the wrong time.”

“I know that mommy,” Jess said. “They just slip out sometimes.”

“You’ll learn with age,” Miriam said as she smoothed Jess’s hair. “I think we should sit down for this kind of talk though.”

Miriam Drew sat down on the couch. Jess curled up next to her on the opposite arm. 

“Now, Jess, you know I’ve already given you the talk,” she said.

“Yes, mom,” Jess said, managing to keep most of her exasperation out of her voice.

“Well, there’s a little more that I think you’re old enough to learn about now,” Miriam continued while maintaining eye contact with Jessie. “Now, I told you what happens when a man loves a woman. But sometimes there are people who try to share the same thing that aren’t a man and a woman. They’re selfish and think that their close friendship lets them share the things that only a man and a woman that really love each other should. But it only hurts them and the people they drag into it.”

“How does it hurt them?” Jess asked. She didn’t know what else to ask. Did her mother know?

“Well, Jess, they never get to know what it’s like to be in a real, loving relationship,” Miriam said. “All they have is an infatuation that they obsess over. It always ends badly because men and women are made for each other, and trying to do anything other than that leads to emotional instability. It’s unhealthy.”

“Oh,” Jess said. She HAD been having mood swings lately…

“Don’t worry too much, Jessie,” Miriam said, pulling Jess into a snuggle. “Usually those people get over their feelings after a few weeks because they’re not real. Most of them go on to live normal lives, only a few keep trying to feel the infatuation that they first felt. It’s why they don’t stay in one relationship for very long.”

“That sounds so sad,” Jess said.

“Well, it is dear,” Miriam said, stroking Jess’s hair. “But life is sad sometimes.”

“Is there a reason you’re telling me this?” Jess asked. “This seems a little odd to talk about before we have family time.”

“Well, your teacher mentioned that you’ve been very quiet in class recently,” Miriam said.

“Mom, I’ve always been quiet,” Jess said. “You know I don’t like talking unless I have something to say.”

“Well, yes, dear,” Miriam said. “But she also said you’ve been trying to befriend someone in that distant way of yours that could hurt you.”

“What?” Jess squeaked. “How would she know that?”

“Mrs. Hoth has known you for years, Jessie,” Miriam said. “You always stare at someone new for weeks before you talk to them.”

“Oh,” Jess said. 

“Don’t worry, it’s really rather adorable, dear,” Miriam said. “But what I want to talk to you about is that this Carol girl you’ve been thinking of talking to- she isn’t a good person. She hangs out after school in a rock and roll band, at a place where people do drugs. She’s been known to be a criminal. And she’s used girls in the past so that she can feel a sense of power over them, in the way that I told you some people do.”

“But she seems so nice,” Jess said.

“Appearances can be deceiving,” Miriam said in a strange voice. It sounded like she was trying not to cry.

“Mom, is everything alright?” Jess asked.

“Yes, dear, it’s fine,” Miriam said, forcing a smile. “I just want you to be ok, and it can be a scary world, and I don’t want you to get hurt. Girls like you can get so, so hurt and turned around... Sorry, listen to me, worrying you like this. You’ll be fine, Jess, you’re a smart girl, and always so careful. Let’s get some dinner.”

“Ok,” Jess said and gave her mom a quick hug before they went to the kitchen to eat the meatloaf her mom had brought home. 

Jess fell asleep watching the movie with her head in her mom’s lap. Her stomach felt more settled with hot food in it. She just hoped the gnawing sensation would go away, just like her infatuation for Carol would.


	2. Home Away From Home

Jess tried not to think about Carol. She knew her mother meant well for her, and she knew her mom would never hurt her. And her mom had very specifically told her that Carol was bad news.

But it had been a week and she still wanted Carol.

And after a whole week of trying not to think about her amazing legs and strong arms and gentle hands, and ending up thinking about exactly those things, Jess felt like she could be forgiven for continuing to peek at her in class.

She didn’t want to worry her mom though, so she made sure to peak when Mrs. Hoth wasn’t looking. She forgot to make sure Carol wasn’t looking.

When Carol caught her looking, Jess felt immediately guilty, and tried to look away, but couldn’t. She knew Carol knew. Blood started to rush to her face.

Then Carol smiled at her and winked. Jess had to look away, but she could feel her heart explode and blood flood up to the tips of her ears. She tried her best to bury her face in her book.

After school let out, Jess waited outside of the main gate. She waited off to the side, pretending to check her phone. She knew her mom was going to be late, because it was Monday. This was her chance to talk to Carol.

Now all Jess needed was the courage to actually do it.

Jess spotted Carol walking out of the double doors of Lernaean High. She initially tried to catch up to her, mostly out of instinct, when she felt fear grip her chest and squeeze the confidence out of her. She felt words die in her throat, and she started to turn away.

Jess’s heart skipped a beat when she heard Carol call her name.

“Jess! Jess, right?” Carol said. 

“Yeah,” was all Jess could get out.

“You were staring at me in class today,” Carol said with a knowing grin.

“I was?” Jess asked.

“Unless I mixed you up with a different tall glass of water,” Carol said, still grinning.

“Um,” was all that Jess could say. Carol had just called her hot. Carol. 

“So I was right,” Carol said. “You do have a crush.”

“That’s not… I definitely…” Jess was trying to talk, really, she was. “Well, it’s funny, because really, you were sitting at this place…”

“So you’re saying no if I invited you to the snake pit,” Carol said, throwing Jess a lifeline.

“I mean, no,” Jess said, with a shy smile. “I mean yes! I mean, the one where I go there.”

“See you at seven, unless you need a ride,” Carol said.

“I um,” Jess said. She realized she was blushing. “Yes I need a ride.”

“What’s your address?” Carol asked.

Jess gave her the address one street over from hers, and Carol sauntered off with a roguish wink. Jess was still staring after her when her mom honked at her to get her attention.

Later, Jess told her mom that she was going over to a friend’s house to study, and slipped out to   
the street corner where Carol picked her up. Jess was giddy. This was really happening!

“So, what kind of music do you play? Your band I mean,” Jess said.

“Punk,” Carol said.

“Everyone asks you that, don’t they,” Jess said.

“I put on a guitar, and suddenly every chick in three mile radius is hanging off of me,” Carol said with a wry smile. “I’m not complaining, mind, but I don’t like people making an… image out of me.”

“Like they see where you fit in, and where they fit in with that image,” Jess said quietly. “But they’re so busy making those two fit together they don’t have any time for making themselves or you fit together.”

“That’s… yeah,” Carol said, slightly shocked.

“I mean unless you meant something else,” Jess said as she fidgeted in her seat.

“No, you just hit it on the head so perfectly,” Carol said.

“I have some experience with that,” She said, with a smile.

“Sounds like it,” Carol said, squeezing her knee, which had the bizarre effect of being incredibly reassuring and made Jess explode on the inside at the same time. “We’re here.”

The snake pit was an 18 and up hole in the wall bar tucked in between two department stores. Jess had never been, and it lived up to its reputation as a dingy, unsafe place for immoral behavior. It was exhilarating.

They walked in behind two college girls holding hands to a bar that was surprisingly clean compared to the outside. A singer with an acoustic guitar sung softly in the back, and throughout, she saw college age kids. 

“Good, we didn’t get here too late,” Carol said.

“Too late for what?” Jess asked nervously.

“You’ll see,” Carol answered cryptically.

Sauntering up to the bar, Carol turned to her and asked, “What’s your poison?”

“Um, a, a, I don’t know?” Jess asked.

“I’ll order for you,” Carol said. “Find some seats?”

“Ok,” Jess said, spotting an open table and putting her sweater on one of the seats and sitting down at the other. Jess looked around. This wasn’t a typical bar. Instead of the yellow and green that most buildings were painted, this one was red and yellow and blue. It sparked a memory in her that she couldn’t quite place, but she started to feel more comfortable. 

When Carol came back with two drinks, Jess felt her stomach tie up into knots. 

“I, I, Carol I’m not, I can’t,” Jess tried to say as all of the images of warnings of getting drugged alcohol on a first date flashed through her mind. Hadn’t her mother told her that Carol had used people?

Carol unhelpfully cocked her eyebrows.

“I’m not 21,” Jess finally hissed, grabbing Carol’s arm. 

“If the bartender cards you for the Shirley temple then I guess we’ll really be in trouble,” Carol said with a kind smile that was both teasing and reassuring.

“O-oh,” Jess said. 

“This is your first date, isn’t it,” Carol asked. 

“I mean, it’s my first time in a bar is all,” Jess tried to answer coyly.

“And also the first time with a girl,” Carol added for her.

“Yeah,” Jess admitted. “On both counts.”

“Well, then I guess I’ll just have to show you a good time,” Carol said with a smile. “And hope you don’t die of embarrassment when you realized I brought you to a lesbian bar.”

“A les-“ She half shouted, before closing her eyes and saying more conversationally, “A lesbian bar?”

“On Karaoke night,” Carol added.

Jess would have felt panic flush into her face if she could still feel it. 

Through the first couple of songs, she was so nervous she forgot to hear them. They were sung by women in flannel, women with colored hair and piercings and tattoos- women who were very much too cool for Jess. She started to feel the sinking pit return to her stomach. Carol could have any of them, probably before the night was over. Why would she want her?

Then it was Carol’s turn. She practically strutted onstage, oozing confidence that Jess could only dream of. She flashed a brief smile at some of the more lewd encouragement shouted at her from the audience about wooing the girl she had brought in before making her selection. Jess tried to keep her face still as she curled up inside of herself.

Carol was going to sing, and it was going to be incredible, and Jess would lose her date by the end of the evening because even if Carol liked girls, she would of course like girls as cool as her, and Jess wasn’t a dork because she liked girls, she was a dork because that was just who she was-

Jess heard the opening notes of ‘Girls Just Want to Have Fun’, and had to try to not bust out laughing. 

Carol was smiling like a total nerd, and was singing amazingly well considering she was half-laughing her way through the song. People were cheering and laughing, and Jess felt herself join in. The ice in her stomach started to thaw.

Carol smiled and her cheeks were slightly red by the time she made it to the second verse. Jess watched her like a hawk, drinking in every moment, trying to scald it into her memory.

Carol locked eyes with her during the second chorus. She lost her giddiness, and her smile dropped from a lopsided grin to something more carnivorous. Her eyes tilted forward, and her voice dropped in pitch to a sultry, smooth croon that spilled through her, warming Jess’ face and lighting a fire in her stomach. 

The moment passed, and Carol went back to her previous antics for the rest of the song. No one seemed to notice that much but her, but she couldn’t get over the fiery tingling that nearly made her twitch in her seat.

When Carol sat back down, she smirked, in that Carol way she had. Jess felt hot and tingly and not entirely in control of herself. She wondered if there really was something in her drink, before dismissing it. 

And maybe it was the heat, or maybe it was the headiness of being near Carol, or maybe it was because Carol had just told her that she was here, with her, on purpose, in the most Carol way possible… Jess locked eyes with Carol, and gave her a gentle kiss on the lips. 

Jess felt like she was buzzing the entire way home. She was mostly successful at keeping her breathing steady as she played her first kiss over and over in her head. When Carol dropped her off, Jess gave her a light peck on the lips before getting out of the car. She felt as giddy as all of the stupid pop songs said she would. 

And much like those pop songs, the feeling lasted around three minutes, until she walked in the front door to see her mother in her nightgown sitting in a chair by the door. Miriam Drew did not look pleased. 

“Jess,” Her mom said, putting her book down and taking her glasses off as she leaned forward. “Is there anything you want to tell me?”

“N-no, what are you talking about?” Jess said, trying to shift gears but only managing to shift her weight to her other leg.

“I was just wondering which friend you were studying with,” She said icily. 

“Which… Judy, mom, you know I study with Judy on Thursdays for Calc-“ Jess started.

“And that’s what I thought,” she said, cutting her off. “So when Eleven O’clock rolled around you still weren’t home, I called Judy’s mom.”

“Her mom?” Jess asked through the lump in her throat.

“Yes, her mom,” she added again, slower. “Is there something you want to tell me now?”

“Um,” Jess said.

“Yes?” Miriam said, her face resigned to waiting as long as it took.

“I might not have studied… with Judy… for the whole time?” Jess said, searching her mom’s face for a crack in her façade. She found none. “Or at all?”

“Jess,” her mom said. 

“I’m sorry,” Jess said. “I didn’t go anywhere dangerous!”

“Jess,” her mom said again.

“I was with a friend the whole time!” She said, panicking. “I had my phone with me! I just didn’t want you to freak out!”

“Jess, where were you, and with who?” Miriam said as she stood up. 

“I was with Carol,” Jess said, feeling a calm come over her. “We went to karaoke.” 

“Jessica Miriam Drew,” her mother said. “We talked about this just last week. And you thought you should spend time with this girl? Put yourself in a vulnerable position with her?”

“I thought we talked about being aware of our decision making and not rushing into choices blindly,” Jessica said, feeling her anger flare to life. “But apparently you dictated to me who I can be friends with!”

“Jess, don’t you dare take that tone with me,” Miriam said. “I thought you were more grown up than this.”

Jess tried to feel guilty, to feel shame, to feel anything but the burning she felt through her whole body. She tried, but she failed. Maybe she wanted to get mad, because finally she had found something that didn’t feel artificial. It felt white hot and clean, and that felt good.

“Apparently not grown up enough to have harmless fun with a friend,” Jess said, spitting the words.

“That fun was not harmless!” Miriam Drew screamed with the fury of a woman possessed. “Jessica, she will come into your life and take everything that is good, everything that has any value, and strip you for meat! And she’ll laugh when she’s done and she leaves you! It wouldn’t be the first time, you stupid little girl!”

Jessica felt like she had been slapped. She felt hot tears begin to run down her cheeks.

Her mother’s face changed from rage to comfort in a heartbeat as she cupped Jess’ cheek.

“Jessica,” Miriam crooned. “Jessica, I just need you to be safe. I don’t want to scare you, but I have to let you know what will happen. This is just me protecting you, even if you won’t do it yourself.”

“Maybe I need protection from you,” Jess whispered. 

Miriam looked crushed. Jess felt the hairs on the back of her neck stand up as her mother’s face twisted into a cruel and distant mask of itself.

“You’re grounded,” Miriam said quietly. With a snarl she turned and walked away, saying “Until I say otherwise, that’s how long.”

Jess ran to her room before Miriam Drew could come back.


	3. Home Alone

She woke up the next morning with puffy eyes and a sore throat from crying into her pillow the night before. She hadn’t even felt good enough to journal about how bad she felt. She felt sick as she sat up and looked at her alarm clock. It read 9:30 am. An hour late for school. Perfect.

She tried to come to terms with what had happened last night. Her mother had been unhinged. She had been volatile. She wasn’t the rock of stability Jess always looked up to. She had been cruel, and vicious, and so angry… at her…

Jess felt nauseas. 

Walking out of her room, she saw a note on her door. It informed her that she was not to leave the house today, even for school, until her mother could sort out how to keep Carol Danvers away from her at school. 

Jess felt her nausea burn away. 

Half an hour later, Jess defiantly strode down the street, anger burning in her stomach. She didn’t know where she was going, but her mother had always told her to never walk to and from school, especially not alone. She wanted to do it out of spite.

Her plans were swiftly curtailed when she heard a warning siren blare and a cop car pull up next to her.

“Miss, shouldn’t you be at home?” a heavyset police man said over his aviators as his window rolled down.

“I think you mean school, and I was just on my way there now-“ Jess said, freezing in terror.

“I meant home,” the officer cut her off. “Your mom told us that you were supposed to be there today.”

“Um, well, that’s…” Jess said.

“That’s the law, miss,” The officer said sternly. “Now, you seem like a good kid, so I’m going to let you go with a warning as long as you promise to go along home.”

“Yes sir,” she said, meekly walking the twenty feet back to her house.

Jess shut the door behind her carefully, so as not to make too much noise. She felt her legs shaking and her stomach twisting itself into knots. 

How had the officer known where she was? Why would he be in a neighborhood during the middle of the day?

It was possible he wasn’t a police officer. But he was wearing the official green uniform of a police officer, and he had an official a green and yellow police car. She decided to call the police to verify his badge number, which she realized she had memorized off of his car. She hadn’t even realized she had done it until she needed the information. Shaking her head, she pulled out her cell phone and dialed as she tried to make sense of what had just happened. 

Something was up, and Jessica Drew, Superb Sleuth, was on the case. 

“Hello, is this the police station?” She said in her best old lady voice.

“Who is this?” barked the other end.

“This is Mrs. Crabtree,” she said. “A fine young officer just saved Mittens from a tree, but I don’t remember his name, only remember his badge number, my memory isn’t as good as it used to be before George-“

“How did you get this number?” Snapped the phone.

“Why I looked it up in the yellow pages,” Jess said, eyebrows knitting together.

“This is not the police station,” came the curt reply before it disconnected. Jess checked that she had called the police station, which she had, and redialed the station on her house phone.

“Hi, is this the police station?” she said in her normal voice. 

“That is correct,” came the same gruff voice as before. “How can I help you?”

“I think there’s been a burglary, my mom is missing her- oh, she found it. I’m so sorry for bothering you,” Jess said. 

“You did the right thing calling us if you suspected a crime, miss,” the operator said. “Have a good day.”

Jess hung up and became even more perplexed. The police didn’t accept calls from old ladies but didn’t mind calls from her house over nothing? That was far odder than a wrong badge number.

Also, why did the police send an officer to sit outside her house? That in itself seemed odd to her. The police should have much better things to do than sit outside one person’s house, even with Learnaea’s low crime rate. 

Maybe it was because of her mom’s job. Her mom had an important job. What was her mom’s job? She had never thought to ask. 

She eyed her mom’s office door. She knew she wasn’t supposed to go in there. But she couldn’t recall what her mom’s job was for the life of her. Jess knew she was important, came home at all hours, and picked her up from school some days, but not others…

Jess tiptoed over to the door of the office. She was alone, but she didn’t want to make any more noise than she had to.

She tried the handle. It turned, but the door didn’t open. How did her mom do this?

Jess closed her eyes and thought back to the one time she had seen her mom walk into her office from around the corner. She had pushed a button on the paneling. Jess had assumed it was so burglars wouldn’t be able to break into her office. Now Jess suspected something more sinister. 

Searching the paneling, Jess found the cleverly inlaid button in the molding of the door. With a light touch, the door popped open, and Jess gently pushed it inward as she walked inside. A slight whirring noise came from the dark room, and Jess felt sweat roll down the back of her neck. 

A cold metal room filled with electronic equipment greeted her with an elegant wood paneled desk at the center. On top of the desk was a large screen with a complex keyboard and mouse system. The cavernous room was lit with a sickly green glow that bathed the room in a menacing light matched by the soft whirring of machinery. 

Also on the wall was a dark green and yellow tapestry, the exact same shade of her high school colors, with a skull and tentacle symbol. 

Jess silently walked over to the computer. 

She moved the mouse, and the screen lit up to show an internet browser she had never seen before. She had only ever had access to the computers at her high school, and had only ever used the high school web browser. It struck her as odd now that she thought of a high school having its own browser, but at the time it had seemed normal. She shrugged it off and began reading the open article. 

It was a news story about some city called London. She had a sudden memory of hunger, ravenous hunger that cut her to the bone. She felt herself drop from where she hung from the ceiling, and desperately claw at an unopened can of tomatoes before becoming disgusted by herself. Snapping herself back to reality, she read on.

A team of people with super powers the article referenced as the avengers had fought a battle in the city, apparently against a shadowy organization the article referenced as… Hydra. 

Disjointed memories bubbled to the surface. She saw her dad hold a bloody syringe over her mother as she thrashed on a lab bench, sending beakers and flasks crashing to the floor. She saw a man’s face next to hers, his fingers around her throat as he told her he never loved her. She felt wind against her face as her shoulders nearly dislocated and twisted aluminum bit into her hands. 

She felt sick.

Desperately, she half-stumbled, half- fell out of the room. Regaining her senses in the cool, empty hallway, she started automatically assessing her situation with thoughts that weren’t entirely her own. 

She wasn’t injured. She had no transportation beyond her feet. She knew where she was. She didn’t have a weapon on her, but she knew where she could get a knife, and maybe a handgun.

Now she had to get to Carol. She knew she was going crazy.

She walked out of her back door again, over to the sidewalk that she and tried to go down before. But right before she got to the edge of her yard, she ducked into a gap between a hedge and the fence in her backyard, squeezing through the narrow corridor. She heard the siren of the cop car beep once as it pulled up to the place where Jess would have been if she had continued on her course. 

She followed the hedge along the fence to the border of the neighbor’s yard. She quickly hopped the fence on the far end and took off running once her feet hit the ground.


	4. You Can't Home Again

She hid outside of Carol’s second period class until the bell rang. When she walked out of class, Jess fell in beside her as nonchalantly as she could. 

“Oh, hey Jess,” Carol said. “I didn’t see you there. Not to sound like I don’t like seeing you, because lord knows you’re easy on the eyes, but Jen said you stayed home today, so why are you here?”

“I needed to see you,” Jess said flatly, scanning the crowd before pulling Carol unexpectedly behind a building.

“Look, it’s not like I don’t dig the enthusiasm,” Carol said. “But I do have class.”

“Carol, forget class,” Jess said.

“I would, but I want to rub my A on that last quiz in calc in that dumbass Joey Luger’s face,” Carol said. 

“Carol, I think I’m going insane,” Jess said flatly.

“Well, the past minute hasn’t really disproven that,” Carol said, cocking her head.

“I’m scared,” Jess said. She felt the stress and bizarreness of the last several hours come into focus. She saw her vision go blurry around the edges, and she felt herself start to shake as she tried to hold herself together. 

She felt relief the instant Carol wrapped her arms around her.

“Hey there,” Carol said softly in her ear. Jess melted into her arms and cried a little.

“Do you think you can tell me what’s going on?” Carol asked. 

“Carol, nothing makes sense,” Jess said. “If you really think about it, none of this makes sense.”

“What do you mean?” Carol asked.

“Where are we?” Jess asked.

“Lerna,” Carol said.

“Where’s Lerna?” Jess asked.

“America,” Carol said, slowly, still unsure where Jess was going.

“Which state?” Jess asked.

“It’s in… it’s in… I give up, which state is it in?” Carol asked, puzzled.

“That’s it. There’s no state flags. Anywhere. And Lerna’s a little town, right? So what’s the economy out here? How is everyone middle class?” Jess asked.

“I don’t know,” Carols said blankly. “Is this why you think you’re going crazy? You don’t remember what state we’re in? Jess, we can just look that up.”

“But that’s the thing. How do we both not know? And weird things have been happening to me this morning,” Jess said.

After explaining how she had spent her morning, Carol looked at her dumbstruck.

“That’s…” Carol started.

“It’s beyond anything that could be called normal,” Jess said. “So I wanted to come get you to make sure I could explain it. I wanted to make sure I wasn’t just making up nonsense.”

“I think you’re on to something,” Carol said, an edge creeping into her voice. “I think it’s time to get out of town.”

“I think I have a way,” Jess said, glancing around.

A fifteen minute walk to her house later, and Jess had let Carol into the secret office her mom had.

“You grew up next to this and you didn’t notice?” Carol asked, awed.

“Did you miss the part where the door handle doesn’t even work,” Jess said.

“Someone put on their sassy pants,” Carol said.

“Sass is how I deal with stress,” Jess said. “I just…”

“What?” Carol asked.

“I, um, usually I can only sass myself,” Jess muttered.

“You are literally the cutest,” Carol said and ruffled her hair. “So what do we do?”

“Well, there’s a number for the Avengers hotline, so I thought we would start there,” she said. 

“Why did we need to go back here,” Carol asked, “Couldn’t we have just looked this up on your phone?”

“Already tried,” Jess said. “Doesn’t work.”

“Huh,” Said Carol.

“Not that surprising compared to… whatever the heck this is we’ve discovered,” Jess said.

“You have outwitted police officers to drag a teenage girl from school,” Carol said. “I think you’ve earned the full swear.”

“Now who’s wearing the sassy pants,” Jess breathed as she put the number into her phone. “Here goes nothing.”

“Hello, Avengers hotline,” a chipper voice answered. “Is this an emergency?”

“Um, maybe?” Jess said. “I mean, I think I need some information.”

“That is one of our services,” the voice answered. “Your voice seems familiar. Are you in our data base?”

“It does?” Jess squeaked.

“Verifying voice. Drew, Jessica, confirmed,” the voice said, as Jess realized she was speaking to a robo-call. “Would you like to replace an ID card?”

“N-no,” she said. “I just want information on the avengers.”

“Please specify,” The voice said. 

“Well, where am I?” she asked. 

“Unknown,” the voice said. “Tracking call… Avengers tower has been notified.”

“No, don’t do that, I just wanted to-“ Jess felt herself panicking. 

“Trace confirmed, extraction coordinates located. Sending extraction team now,” The voice droned. “ETA 45 minutes. Have a good day!”

The line clicked once and went silent. 

“So um, they’re coming here now,” Jess said.

“Well, that’s… good? Bad?” Carol said. “You know, we don’t know they’re the good guys. Maybe your mom was keeping this from us for a reason.”

“That’s true… but you didn’t see my mom last night. She wasn’t the same person I remember,” Jess said. “I guess we’ll find out in 45 minutes.”

They came fifteen minutes early.

Jess heard a distant roar, and looked out the window. Suddenly the neighbors’ houses tilted up at a forty-five degree, and missiles launched out of their foundations with a terrible roar. Jess threw herself on the ground with her hands over her neck, just like they had taught her in school, as Carol dove on top of her.

For five mintutes her childhood neighborhood turned into a warzone, with explosion and smoke and noise filling all of her senses. Slowly, it started to dull, and then it abruptly cut off.

After a minute or two, she and Carol crawled back over to the now broken window, and peeked outside. A jet had touched down outside of her lawn on the street, and brightly colored men and women had poured out of the ramp and were now looking around warily.

“Tony which house is it?” A man in purple asked. “Suburbia all looks the same to me.”

“Clint, that’s… that’s the point of having houses with the same floor plan,” Tony said, momentarily distracted. “But also it’s that one.”

“At least we left it standing,” A green skinned woman said. 

“The other ones had guns popping out of them,” Tony said. “It wasn’t my fault.”

“Stay focused, team,” a man in Red, white and blue resembling the flag of… Puerto Rico? “Jen, go through first, I’ll be behind, Clint and Tony cover us. Everyone else keep their eyes peeled. Ready, go!”

The green woman launched herself at the door from ten feet away, flying through the air, and burst through it, while the Puerto Rican superhero followed closely behind her.

Jess let out a gasp of surprise and covered her face while backing away, and Carol stepped between the two strange people and Jess, taking a stance that suggested she would fight if she had to.

Which was insane considering the green woman had destroyed a solid oak door by jumping through it, but is was sweet nonetheless. 

“Carol?” The woman said. “Jess! I found both of them!”

“How do you know our names,” Carol said distrustfully.

“And of course this has to be weird,” the green woman said, putting her face into her palm. “Cap, we need weird science people to explain this.”

“Weird science people?” Jess asked. 

“You should know us,” Captain Puerto Rico said. “And now we need to figure out why you don’t. Which usually requires someone with more PhD’s than fingers and toes.”

“Oh,” Jess said from behind Carol.

“We have plenty of them, I wouldn’t worry too much,” He said kindly, and Jess actually felt better, even though nothing had really changed. 

“Weird science person reporting,” came a male voice from a woman who had just walked in whose mouth wasn’t moving.

“Hank they don’t remember you, you have to be full sized or else it’s really weird,” the woman said. “Well, weirder. Hey guys.”

“Uh, hey, people we know,” Carol said. A flash of light and suddenly a man was in the room in a strange gas mask.

“Ok, so Tony’s in the back talking to the computer, but I bet I can figure it out first,” Hank said. “What’s the last thing you remember?”

“Talking to you?” Jess said.

“I figured it out,” Tony strode into the room. “Never doubt me, Pym.”

“Tony, I discovered one of the basic physical laws of the universe and new type of matter,” Hank said. “You make dangerous iPods.”

“No one likes a sore loser,” Tony said. “Also, I just read the files that were open on the computer. Score one for the most dangerous iPod.”

“I could have figured that out,” Hank muttered. The woman he was with patted his shoulder and rolled her eyes.

“You two, are in fact Carol Danvers and Jessica Drew, or as we know you, Captain Marvel and Spider Woman. You,” he said as he pointed at Jess, “Used to work for Hydra. They are bad people.”

“Jess isn’t a bad person,” Carol snarled, tensing for a fight. 

“No, she is not,” Tony said, looking slightly annoyed at being interrupted. “So she quit. However, some guy named Vermis put a little brainwashing trigger in her brain to wipe her memory if he ever needed to. Apparently, Viper, the woman posing as Miriam Drew, thought that would be really fun to use to put you in… a mind prison? Or something, I don’t know what this place is.”

“Mom isn’t my mom?” Jess asked.

“Yeah,” Tony continued. “No relation. So that leads us to-“

“Do I have a mom?” Jess asked.

“Um… You’ll remember shortly, and I don’t really want to crush a high school girl’s dreams… more than I already have…” Tony said deflating. “Which leads to my second point: the brainwashing needs constant triggers to work thanks to your healing factor. Which is why Hydra built this weird replica of a middle American town for people to live in.”

“My journals,” Jess whispered. “I remember those memories being in purple, instead of green and yellow like my other memories. They aren’t… fuzzy, like the others. My mom- um, snake person? She told me to write in those journals every day.”

“That seems like a thing,” Hank said. Everyone looked at him. “Synesthesia is a thing when people make memories, which would explain the colors being associated with different memories. I have a Nobel prize.”

“Wait, you mentioned a healing factor?” Carol asked. “Does Jess have like- powers?”

“Yes, you both do,” Captian Puerto Rico said earnestly. “Look, most of this probably won’t make sense until you get your memory back, but bear with us. I know that this is probably a lot to take in all at once.” 

“The memory thing should happen soon, by the way,” Tony said. “Assuming your healing factors are the same as they were previously.”

“You’ll get sleepy and a headache soon, is I believe what Tony forgot to add,” Hank added, smiling smugly. “I didn’t even have to cheat and read the file.”

“I was getting to that,” Tony huffed. “But yes, this brings us to Carol- you were able to have your memories essentially overwritten because you had so few.”

“So few? I’m the same age as Jess,” Carol asked.

“Well, not really,” Tony said. “You’re actually like 37 and Jess is like 30, which doesn’t mean the school girl uniforms aren’t working for you, it just means this whole thing is kind of extra creepy and awkward. But the point I was making was that you lost your memory recently, so you had a lot of unused brain space to fiddle with.”

“So to get this straight, I lost all of my memories, and then got new ones, which my brain is going to erase because I heal quickly?” Carol asked.

“Yes,” Tony said. “Well, you’ll remember thinking you were a high schooler when you weren’t but you won’t think you actually are a high schooler anymore.”

“Although I don’t think you have anything too straight right now,” The woman with Green skin said, raising an eyebrow at Jess and Carol’s hands, which had clasped together without either of them realizing it.

“Let’s go home,” Clint said. “Seeing my coworkers as lesbian school girls is way less enjoyable and way creepier than I am even remotely comfortable with. Plus all that science made me sleepy and gave me a headache, and I didn’t even get kidnapped.”

Jess laughed openly, and everyone looked at her.

“It was a funny joke,” she said quietly.

“No, it’s just… you never laughed at my jokes before,” Clint said. “Not since we…”

“What?” she asked.

“Um, dated,” Clint said, blushing. “Which is now even weirder than real life because you seem to be a high school student oh god please think you’re at least 18.”

“Yes, I’m 18,” Jess said, still not believing that someone with arms like that would ever want to date Dorky J. Drew (Molly really was the worst). “Or… 30? I’m not really sure how that works. But you wanted to date me?”

“Um, yeah,” Clint said blushing harder. “I kind of messed up though.”

“With a capital Candy,” the woman with Hank said, giving him a withering glare. 

“Ok, enough humiliating Barton for one day,” Cap said. “Even if he did earn it. Let’s go home.”

They were led up the ramp of the weird plane, and put into a back seat together. Jess probably should have been worried about being in a plane filled with strangers, but she did feel a massive headache building. It felt so much better when she closed her eyes and just relaxed back into Carol, who had draped her arms around her and was already sleeping. And she was tired. So, so tired.

She drifted off to sleep in Carol’s arms.


	5. You're Home

Jess opened her eyes and realized she was still cuddled up with Carol. She quietly got up and moved to the back of the quinjet to get a bottle of water.

“Oh, um, Jessie, I’m Hawkeye, if you remember me. Is there anything I can get you?” Clint said.

“Clint, I remember who you are now. Also, never call me that again,” Jess said. 

“Oh,” Clint said. “You were nicer when you were doing the hero worship thing.”

“I liked you better when I didn’t remember you,” Jess said, rolling her eyes.

“I liked me better then too,” Clint said, before walking back over to the console he had been playing Galaga at moments before. 

Carol stirred in the back.

“Hey, Carol? Do you remember me?” Jess said as she felt her voice hitch and give up on the last word.

“Yeah, I remember you,” Carol said with a reassuring Carol grin, and then froze. “Holy crap I remember high school… at Hydra.”

“Yeah, well, Viper decided to screw with my head because she still thinks I’m her long lost daughter,” Jessica said. “Sorry you got dragged into my brand of crazy.”

“I mean, I’ve been informed that this is basically Tuesday as an Avenger,” Carol said.

“Yeah,” Jess said, “But I’m sorry that it’s my deluded non-relation that got you dragged into this.” 

“Non-relation?” Carol asked.

“She’s not my mother,” Jess said, electricity starting to crackle in her clenched fists. “She never will be.”

“I mean no, obviously not, but I do think she really thought you two were a family,” Carol said. “I mean, why set up all this up otherwise?”

“She was delusional. Of course she thought that,” Jessica said, meaning for it to come out assertively. “She thought she could buy submissive little Jessie Drew with a childhood.”

“Jess, are you all right?” Carol asked.

“Yes,” Jess said. She probably should have elaborated, but her throat had suddenly closed up.

“Are you sure?” Carol asked.

“Yes, Carol, I’m fine,” Jess said. “So what if the only person in my life who has been there for me consistently and apparently really fucking cares about my wellbeing and wants me to be happy is my stalker with an elaborate mommy fetish. So yeah, now that I am no longer in the creepy doll collection my made-up mother decided to bring to life, I am fine. Unless this little scenario is like a thing for you, considering how enthusiastic you are about defending her. Because not to kink shame, but that’s weird.”

“You’re not going to snide remark your way out of this,” Carol said with a grimace. “How are you ok? Because I feel ripped up, and I don’t have your history with manipulation, and betrayal, and having a family that-“

“Spiders don’t get families,” Jess interrupted quietly. 

“You have me. And Natasha. And everyone in the avengers,” Carol said.

“But when does all that disappear, Carol? Because I’ve heard this one already, from people that were about to leave me. The only thing that changes are the names,” Jessica said bitterly. “Mum. Bova. Lazlo. Jared. Lindsay. Magnus. David. Robby. Sabrina. Fucking Clint. When do I add Natasha to those names? When do I add Carol? Maybe I was better off with Viper. I did get happiness, even if it was fake.”

Carol took Jessica’s hand. Jess knew she shouldn’t have met her gaze. She shouldn’t give Carol false hope that she could fix her. But the look in Carol’s eyes held her and wouldn’t let go. 

“Jessica. I have been kidnapped to another dimension. I’ve lost all my memories, twice. I have been shot into the Sun. But I survived. So yeah, I might leave. But I will always, always come back to you,” Carol said. “I will always come back because you are incredibly special. You’re the strongest person I know. You’ve never let anything break you, and you haven’t hardened your heart. You still feel everything.”

“No I don’t,” Jess said. “Carol, there are times I go numb. Totally, completely numb.”

“And then you fight your way back to pain,” Carol said. “And then you fight the pain, and try to open yourself up again. The shitty things that have happened to you? They didn’t break you, Jess. They forged you. And that’s because you’re you.”

“So I’m just a collection of miseries?” Jess asked.

“You’re a collection of survivals and triumphs,” Carol said. 

“Carol?” Jess said, after a pause.

“Yeah?” Carol said.

“You give a mean pep talk,” Jess said with a smile that mostly reached her eyes. “Do you want to sit on this bench and be sad with me for a while?”

“Jessica Drew, I would love nothing more,” Carol said, sitting next to her and pulling her into an embrace.

“I mean, we could have at least been dating more than a week before this kind of thing happens,” Jess grumbled after a few minutes. 

“We were only gone a few weeks,” Carol said. “Hiccups happen in relationships.”

“This is more of a burp than a hiccup,” Jess said, wrinkling her nose. “Why did Viper pick now to do this?”

“Speaking of, shouldn’t we have gone after her or something?” Carol said, cocking an eyebrow. “Is there something I’m missing here?”

“Viper is a spy in a terrorist organization with more hidey holes than pretty much any other on Earth,” Jess said tiredly. “She probably left the moment she saw the Quinjet show up on radar. She’s long gone by now.”

“Oh,” Carol said, grimacing.

“Hey, for someone who’s only memories are a year in space, you’re pretty on the ball about this stuff,” Jess said, giving Carol an affectionate scratch behind her ear.

They sat in silence for several moments before Jess said, “That’s why.”

“What?” Carol asked. 

“Why she picked now,” Jess said. “She kept saying you were terrible for me. I think she was jealous of you.”

“But she thought she was your mom, Jess,” Carol said, her face slowly becoming a mask of horror. “Unless she wanted to get in your-“

“No, nothing like that,” Jess said, rolling her eyes. “I think she wanted me to be straight. She was jealous of how much you meant to me. She wanted me to pick her as my mother over you.”

“That was a lot of effort to go to just for that,” Carol said.

“Viper has never been particularly subtle,” Jess said. “I think she wanted to get rid of whatever it was in my life that made me gay and pick you, which to her was like hurting myself.”

“Oh,” Carol said with a slight blanch. “That’s… slightly less creepy. Slightly.”

“Still creepy,” Jess confirmed.

“It’s kind of sweet, I guess,” Carol said. “In a really mind-controlling way, but still.”

“She sucks,” Jess said. “but… the road to hell is paved with good intentions. It’s still creepy.”

“I mean yes…” Carol said, a lopsided grin flashing on her face. “But I got to see you dressed as a schoolgirl.”

“Ugh, please don’t remind me,” Jess said putting her face into her palm.

“Maybe,” Carol said, cupping Jess’s hand and bringing it up to her face. “It wasn’t such a bad thing for me to get to see underneath all that Private detective cool you have built up. Maybe I like seeing you a little vulnerable with me. Seeing your softer parts.”

“Oh,” Jess said, trying to think of a comeback. “I think I like it when you see my soft parts too.”

“Tease,” Carol said with a smirk before guiding their lips together by her chin, claiming Jess as her own in a fierce kiss. Jess felt herself fill with a warmth inside of her that was distinctly Carol, and she wondered if maybe the entire situation was all that terrible.

Several months later, Jess looked out over New York from the balcony of the Statue of Liberty. She sipped her coffee, grateful for the warmth it provided against the brisk morning air that chilled anything not covered by the oversized Air Force tee shirt she wore. She briefly considered putting on underwear, but she liked reveling in Carol’s lack of neighbors. 

She rested her arm on the balcony and felt a piece of paper. Frowning, she unfolded a hand written note in purple taped to the railing. Written in neat cursive, it read: 

Jess,

I know I may not be your favorite person, now, or maybe ever. But I do want you to know that I was wrong. I see you with Carol and you seem happier to me than you ever were before. I hope you have a wonderful life together.

I just wanted you to know that life with her doesn’t have to include all the pain you had from before. I didn’t ask for you input last time I set up what I did. Maybe I should have. But the past is the past, and we can only move forward. So if you wanted to, I could set up something the way that you wanted me to.

You’re my only daughter, and I will always love you. You always have a place with me, whenever you want. But I realize that it has to be your choice, or you’ll never abide by it. I’d like to think you get that from me. There’s a phone taped to the underside of the balcony with a secure number to call me at. Whatever you choose I’ll support you, and I will never stop loving you.

Love,  
Mom

After retrieving the device, Jess considered throwing the phone into the ocean. She was certainly mad enough. But she felt something else, something... longing in her. It almost made her madder, but she thought back to what Carol had said.

She sent a single text from the phone before throwing it into the ocean.

“Did I miss something?” Carol asked as she slide her hands around Jess’s torso and lightly pushed her into the railing, eliciting a gasp from Jess.

“Good morning to you to,” Jess said, leaning back into Carol’s curves. “I got a note from my stalker.”

“You don’t seem particularly upset about it,” Carol said questioningly. 

“I sent a text to her,” Jess said, stretching her arms casually behind her head to touch Carol’s shoulders.

“So that was the phone she gave you,” Carol said.

“Yep,” Jess said. 

“And?” Carol asked.

“And I told her that she wasn’t my mom,” Jess said. “That she couldn’t replace the woman that gave me life twice, one time at the cost of her own. But that as far as Parents go, she’s still my second favorite. And that as tempting as it was to take her up on her offer of playing make-believe, even if it did come with you… it wouldn’t be the same. I don’t need to pretend to have a home anymore. I have you.”

Jess spun around with spider like agility, faster than Carol expected, and pushed herself into Carol.

“And,” She said, slowly drawing a finger down Carol’s sternum. “I think that I would like to have you this morning. And that usually puts me in a pretty good mood.”

“So you’ll have me then,” Carol said with her eyebrows raised. “I’m rather used to being the one doing the having. Last night, for example.”

“Then I guess you’ll have to take me,” Jess said with a smile as she pushed a grinning Carol gently back through the open door with her finger. “If you think you’re good to go again.”

“Are you kidding me?” Carol said as she grabbed Jess’s hips and slung her onto the bed, the door closing behind them. “I’m the best.”


End file.
